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The Turnip
February 27, 2003

Complacency; stupidity linked to contrails

ALBERTA- Scientists in Canada trying to determine the causes for complacency among the world’s population have shifted their focus towards contrails. The recent concerns have surfaced over what some of the scientists conclude to be the past four to six years, starting in North America and rapidly spreading throughout the world. Antiwar protests and the obvious lack of knowledge as far as anything is concerned spawned the group to investigate the problem deeper than it had originally intended. Coincidently, the rapid emergence of contrail activity in the same areas at the same times has brought the group to ponder the possible correlation of the two circumstances.

“We prefer to call them ‘Chemtrails’ rather than contrails primarily because we feel they are not made up of condensation as we are led to believe; hence the ‘con’. We have found through extensive research these formations are made up of various chemical combinations ranging from aluminum oxide to human white blood cells to barium to substances teeming with bacteria found in spoiled food, diseased plants, sewage, and hospital environments. It’s no wonder people are getting violently ill!” said Dr. Thomas Williams of Addams School of Biological Geometry in Alberta Canada. According to Williams, these airborne substances are also contributing to the dumbing down of the human race. According to him, the sprays are being laid out by US Military tanker jets (KC-135A) on routine training missions, but it is also suspected commercial airliners have been employed in the dispensation as well. Workers at a number of unnamed commercial airlines have raised concerns about certain systems which run in conjunction with waste deployment systems. The maintenance of these ‘secret’ systems is handled by outside contractors and company workers are prohibited from even asking about them.

The connection of these chemtrails and the rapidly spreading stupidity throughout the world has been cause for concern. At one point, scientists from Hawaii were sure that a parallel universe had somehow crashed into ours and caused everything to go upside down and backwards, but that theory is yet to be substantiated. Studies on parallel universes are continuing, but do not seem to be responsible for the rampant stupidity and complacency we are seeing on earth today. Dr. Williams and his group are certain they are onto something with the chemtrails. “We get thousands of reports every week along with pictures. We see increases in emergency room activities in areas hard hit by chemtrail activity. The chemicals and bacteria expelled by these aircraft are affecting many of the more sensitive people with upper respiratory illnesses and the more tolerant with brain damaging effects. This we know for sure. People who breathe unusually high concentrations of aluminum oxide, human white blood cells, barium, and substances teeming with bacteria found in spoiled food, diseased plants, sewage, and hospital environments are more likely to experience memory loss and more severe forms of brain damage.” He refers to stupidity and complacency as well. The complacency angle is further magnified by the many groups of polled citizens who are completely unaware of any military activity in the Middle East. People simply do not know what is happening in the world, according to the poll. “And they don’t care! That’s the problem. They simply don’t care. They don’t care about anything. Morals are of no concern to the people anymore. Character? Forget it. Religion has been thrown to the wolves, why with the removal of God from songs and schools and even State mottos for Christ sakes!” rallied Williams. “I tell you, we are all going straight to hell and nobody seems to give a darn! It’s a complete disgrace and there is only more where it came from. Planes continue to spew these brain deadening chemicals over our heads and there is absolutely nothing we can do about it! Just try and see what happens. They call you a nutjob or a lunatic. A conspiracy theory wacko. Sure, they tried to pollute our water but the natural spring water industry saw a way to make millions of dollars and there went that method of mind control. Now they have taken our air. How are we going to battle that? Bubbles? I don’t think so. I think we are helpless and I for one will not go quietly. In ten more years we will be a race of bumbling idiots controlled by a limited few puppet masters calling themselves our leaders. There will be one world order running every aspect of our lives as we lie here helpless. And the planes will still be flying, dropping more garbage on our heads and keeping us in control. There is no happy ending to this story my friends.” Dr. Williams finished his tirade and retired to his lab where he proceeded to slit his wrists and hang himself from a set of florescent lights hanging above his computer desk. Still his experiments and research will continue. Government specialists are to be flown in this week to pack up the doctor’s laboratory and bring it to Washington DC for reassembly. There the testing and studies will continue as scheduled. Williams’ lab partners will not be invited to go along. They have been ordered to provide the government agents all of their research information and will be taken to another location for debriefing.

So we may never really know why humanity has become such a stupid existence. As more and more children receive tattoos and pierce more and more illogical areas of their bodies, adults continue to believe everything will be just fine as long as the government is there to take care of them. Corporations will continue to produce billionaire CEOs while employees are laid off by the millions. Eventually the economy will completely collapse and all there will be left is a small group of billionaires and a few politicians to pick up the pieces. Those of us who are not fortunate enough to be among those groups will become the slaves of society, completely controlled with no hope for escape. All because of a bunch of airplanes leaving checker board patterns in the sky overhead every single day all over the world. If only we gave a crap.

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